Vernor Mini Simmons REAL Review

David Vernor didn’t want to make this board. He had to be convinced to do it. A diehard thruster surfer at heart, David is the first to tell you, “This board is ugly and I originally didn’t even want to make it”. It wasn’t until his first surf on his own 6’0 Mini Simmons at Waddell Creek, CA that he realized how incredibly fast AND loose his creation was. “I was sitting with the longboarders and connecting multiple roundhouses all the way through the shortboarders, and then again all the way to the beach. The board made me feel like I was 25 years old again!”

Vernor Mini Simmons Tech Specs
•Minimal Rocker
•Rolled Rails forward 2/3rds of board
•Bellied bottom to double concave to vee out the tail
•Massive Tail and Tailblock
•Mark Fused Cell EPS / Epoxy Construction
•Vector Mesh Tailpatch / Carbon I-Beam Suspension System
•Quad Fin with Futures Vernor Controllers

We’re going to put what we like all in one sentence……This board catches every wave you paddle for, goes incredibly fast and is WAY looser than you would expect from any grovel board or board with a tail so wide. The wave catching ability comes from the flatter rocker, additional foam and wide nose and tail. The extreme width of the tail and tailblock help float the surf from the waist back when paddling, keeping the board skimming flat (and efficiently) thru the water, rather than the tail sinking low and bogging. This same tail also adds to the “squirt” of the board down the wave face when the wave catches you. Both of these make this board one of the best wave catchers we’ve ever tested.

Once up and riding, the wide tail combined with Futures Controllers and Carbon I-Beam Suspension System light up with noticeable speed when pumping through turns, laying down carves or rolling through roundhouses. The Carbon I-Beam Suspension System controls torsional flex (when the board is twisting) and adds energy through every turn. The result is more speed out of every turn and it’s noticeable during the very first session.

When you look at a board this wide and square, you really don’t expect it to be maneuverable or loose. Yea, it might catch a ton of waves and fly down the line, but can you turn it or slide it?! The answer is YES. Why? We guessed it was the thinner rails, with rolled up soft edges most of the way through the board combined with the double concave out the back. Vernor confirmed this was the reason behind this performance surprise with the I-Beam Suspension adding even more “zing” to what was happening on the wave.

So far, the best surf we’ve ridden this board in was waist to stomach high, glassy beach break a-frames. The worst surf we’ve ridden it in was knee high, choppy, high tide, breaking, un-breaking and then re-breaking beachbreak. Actually that’s not even the worst surf. Nuzzi surfed his the other day in almost non-breaking, too high tide jetty break, where he was actually surfing and doing solid turns with speed on white capped semi-breaking windswell in the knee to thigh high range. Seriously, the wave wasn’t even breaking, just the whitecap at the top was throwing him into the swell and he was taking it from there. Every session ending with a giant smile, totally stoked on the performance of this board in average to completely disappointing conditions.

These boards work in surf they shouldn’t. We witnessed a guy just CRUSHING it on a Vernor Mini Simmons at solid head high Cane Garden Bay in Tortolla. According to Vernor, the thinner, rolled rails just don’t catch and pitch you like a boxy, sharp rail would. That’s what gives you range on this board that you wouldn’t expect.

Sizing these boards, you should add 10-15% more foam when compared to your good wave boards. The belly forward and double concave out the back, neutralize the added foam, so it’s not a “negative” in any way. David Vernor is about 185 lbs and rides 34 liters on his shortboards and a 5’10 Mini Simmons at 39 liters for getting his speed on. At 215lbs, most of my better wave boards are around 38 liters and my Mini Simmons is 42 liters. The closer you go to 15% larger than your shortboard, the more it will completely eliminate your longboard, at least as a necessity, rather than a choice.

The Vernor Simmons likes a rail to rail roll to get her up to speed. “Feel the belly”. Watch some old Mikki Dora footage. Once you nail that technique, it takes off like a rocket ship. You can surf it like a normal shortboard and it will go way faster than anything in your quiver in junk, but once you find the magic roll, it’s hyperspace time.

You want to catch every wave you paddle for, go super fast and get loose. When you can do all these things in donkey surf, it makes it even that more enticing...

All Vernor Mini Simmons purchased through REAL include a set of Futures Fiberglass NVS Vernor Apex Quad Fins ($150 value).